It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
