physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
