well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
