First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
