you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
and she was petting her beer can
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
