I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
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