What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
