Screwed.edu
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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