i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
