you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
