Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize