know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
