I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
