opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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