The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
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