went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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