I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
