Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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