I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
