i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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