yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize