idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
