Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
