I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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