when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
wow bdsm is so cute
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