she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
