Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
