thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
