I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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