so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
