just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
