I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
