i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
