Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Blood and glitter go together right?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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