Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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