Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
