I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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