Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
