just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
