People in love make me want to vomit
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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