I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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