i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Randomize
