God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize