my sisters under your porch take her home
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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