I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize