My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
