Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
