babies were throwing up all over the place
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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