How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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