She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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