Sponge bath it is.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
