whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize