It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
