Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
