I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
