Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
