How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
