I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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