OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
