It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
