she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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