jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
